Why Are You Here
by emerlad
Summary: In the middle of the first war, Severus Snape finds James Potter captured and has to save him. How does this act change history ?
1. Chapter 1

Why Are You Here ?

Belongs To JKR

Spying isn't easy to do. Severus Snape is a testament to that particular fact. In the past six months since pledging himself to Dumbledore's service he'd given more than his fair share of information to The Order something that did little to comfort him when he was around Voldemort. But the fact that Lily Potter, (oh how that last name grated his nerves) was safe was enough.

Today wasn't starting off particularly well for Severus, the morning he'd woken up he'd been given severe shock of pain from his Dark Mark, more so than usual. This meant that Voldemort had something important to give the Death Eaters.

Snape Disapparated from his room at Spinner's End and Apparated at Voldemort's throne room for lack of a better word to find himself completely alone with the Dark Lord. His slit eyes were alternately red and black, both signs of whatever corruption he'd done to himself. His head held a thinning shock of grayish brown hair that Severus predicted would be gone by the end of this year, his skin was pale as ebony.

"Severus" Voldemort beckoned him

"My lord" he said kneeling

"I have news that will bring great pleasure to both of us" His voice was like a bucket of icy water being poured on Severus's back

"I await with bated breath my lord" Sev said with all the false sincerity he could force

"A recent encounter with The Order has us a valuable target" Voldemort said coyly

"Who ? My lord" Severus said with a small pit developing in his stomach

"James Potter" Voldemort said with a smile

Severus was stunned

"Severus I want you to bring him to me, of course after you've had your fun that is. He'll provide valuable information about The Order we could use, he's been placed in our 6th safe house in Baldoran with several guards and awaits your arrival with bated breath"

Baldoran was a notorious piece of Death Eater territory and a safe place to hide an Order member from retrieval. Death Eater safe houses were almost always named with numbers from 1 to 7.

"My lord is unendingly gracious I shall return at once with him" Severus said. Remarkably keeping the fear he felt in his chest under control.

"I know you will Severus, you are dismissed"

Severus Disapparated immediately while trying to figure out how to handle this, and decided he'd cross that bridged once he'd arrived. Severus arrived at a small unassuming shack with a pop there were two guards outside who, once he'd removed his mask led him inside to a figure in a chair. He'd evidently been placed in a full body bind but he had been roped up and gagged to be safe.

James Potter's once famous face that made the girls of Hogwarts swoon was split with cuts and nicks, it looked like he'd taken a dive into a pool filled with broken glass. In addition he had the customary twitches of Crucio. Severus looked at the two guards.

"How'd he get captured ?" He asked nonchalantly

They both removed there masks, it was Lastor and Faran. Severus sighed, these two were some of the best and most infamous Death Eaters at Voldemort's disposal. Together they were responsible some of the worst atrocities in the war.

_There's no way I can do this and stay a spy, The Dark Lord will never believe that a Cruicoed beaten wizard escaped a full body bind, the best Death Eaters available, and enemy territory alone._

"We caught him in a surprise attack at an Order outpost, we killed two but thought he'd be a better prize alive, considering The Dark Lord is still trying to decide what to do with his family." Lastor said with a nasty smile

"Who else was with you ?" Severus asked hopefully.

_Maybe I can kill them and pin the blame on somebody in the attack_

"Oh it doesn't matter anymore, we don't like to share the credit" They responded simultaneously

"You should be careful, The Dark Lord does detest infighting" Severus said quietly

"He's waking" Faran said

Potter's eyes flickered open and shut, his left eyelid was swollen purple. So it looked like he was twitching on that side. When he finally appeared to focus on them, he saw Snape and his mouth split open into a feral expression which looked quite unattractive on him considering his recent experiences. The bind was wearing off evidently, but he'd been tied to the chair as well and gagged.

" What should we do with him ?" Lastor asked

"The Dark Lord did say you'd have some fun with him, we made sure not to ruin him too much for you." Faran squealed eagerly.

Severus stared directly into Potter's eyes. He saw hatred and….fear ? looking back at him, not unlike the looks he'd give Severus see him with Lily. Before the Incident that is.

_It'd be so easy to kill him, to take his life away, to give him pain for what him and his 'Marauders' did to me. But….Lily loves him, Oh Merlin as much as it galls me to admit it. And to hurt him would be to hurt her and I've done more than enough of that. _

"Damn you Potter" Severus muttered.

Severus uttered a wordless _Sectumsempra._

"What are you-" Lastor was cut off as both him and Faran's neck erupted in a red fountains, simultaneously crumpling to the floor.

Potter's eyes widened in shock as Severus cut the binds to his legs and arms. Potter stumbled up from his chair, spitting out the gag.

"Your wand is most likely in one of their pockets" Severus said calmly

"Sni- I mean Snape, what ? What are you doing ?" Potter sputtered

"Intelligent as ever Potter" Severus searched Lastor's cloaks pockets before pulling out a wand that was obviously Potter's.

_I recognize it after all the times he pointed it at my face._

_"_Here" He handed it.

Potter snatched it away. Severus expected him to point it at his throat but instead he just stared at the wand, then at Severus.

"What are you doing ?" He asked more firmly than before

"Repaying a debt Potter" Severus said curtly.

This is also true, you can say many things about Severus Snape but he always keeps a debt.

"I don't understand, what debt ?" Potter asked confused

_Is he really that stupid ? How can he not remember ?_

"There's no time" Severus uttered a rudimentary healing spell for Potter's cuts, thought the Crucio effects would need better treatment.

"Come"

"Where ?" Potter asked again suspiciously

"The Order's headquarters" Snape said impatiently

"How do you know about The Order ?"

"I am a member you dullard. Now unless you'd prefer to have the company of The Dark Lord and his Death Eaters I suggest we Disapparate immediately"

"Where are the headquarters then ?" Potter challenged

_Merlin, I should have let him die._

"The Ministry of Magic" Severus answered darkly

"What department ?"

"Mysteries, now do you want to leave or not ?!" Severus nearly shouted.

That seemed to satisfy him for the moment. Snape would have sent his Patronus but he didn't need Potter to know what he felt for Lily, though he had a sneaking suspicion he already did.

"Can you send a Patronus to Dumbledore ?" Snape asked Potter.

"I think so. What should I say ?"

"Tell him that I've found you and my covers blown we'll meet him at Hogwarts"

Potter sent the Patronus off, the silver white stag bounding into the distance.

"Now what ?" Potter asked

"Now we go to a safe house so we can Portkey to Dumbledore's office" Snape was getting nervous

"Where's the house ?"

"Knockturn Alley, it was for me specifically because of my company"

Potter paused.

"Alright lets go"


	2. Chapter 2

Are You For Real ?

Belongs To JKR

James and Severus moved quickly through the dingy, dirty streets of Knockturn Alley. Severus wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, Knockturn Alley was a notorious hotbed of pureblood radicalism and it was only a matter of time before somebody recognized the "James Potter".

When they finally arrived at the safe house door Severus uttered the password only he knew.

"The Spot" Severus spoke quietly.

"You know about Lily's spot ?" James asked in surprise

Inwardly Severus seethed at the one thing he and Lily had shared together that was special had been given to James bloody Potter. But they were married so he could expect nothing less

"Yes, now come quickly" Came Severus's terse reply.

The safe house was a simple sturdy one floor flat. It had a bedroom, bathroom, shower, some medicine in the corner and a small pedestal that held the Portkey to Hogwarts.

"We need to get there quickly for your treatment, hurry" Severus prodded. James looked hesitantly over at the Portkey, Severus, recognizing his expression sighed and decided to appeal to his ego.

"I'll go first you imbecile and wait on the other side, if you're so much of a coward than you stay here and die, I've done more than my part anyways" With that Severus walked over to the Portkey and disappeared with a whoosh of air and a popping sound.

Severus felt himself being dragged down and floating at the same time before landing in Dumbledore's office to be greeted by two watery blue eyes in half moon glasses.

"Severus where is James ?" Dumbledore asked

As if on cue Potter showed up with another rush of air and a popping sound. He picked himself up and gave his smile to Dumbledore, albeit with rust red teeth.

"Sir" The simple greeting acknowledged a strong warm relationship between the two.

_How very unsurprising._

Dumbledore took one look at James before saying

" James you need medical attention immediately, can you head down to Poppy's ? Don't worry I've alerted Lily and she's on her way"

Severus's gut dropped hearing her name, and rapidly tried to control the panic rising within himself at the prospective of meeting her.

"Of course I'll try to hold my guts inside on the way down as well." Potter added wryly and moved out of the room. Leaving Dumbledore and Severus together, Dumbledore proceeded to look over Severus.

"Are you all right my boy ?" He asked with what might've been genuine concern.

"I'll live its Potter you should worry about, this is the first time he's 'enjoyed' Cruciatus I think" Severus said with a sigh, plopping himself down in the chair.

_I didn't go through all the trouble of saving his arrogant ass for Lily just to have him be a permanent cripple and burden upon her._

_"_But I asked about you" Dumbledore reminded him

"How should I feel ? I've just made myself the number one enemy and traitor of Voldemort, who might I add hates people like me almost as much as muggleborns. Plus until we've killed the bastard I'll get the joy of the Dark Mark's burn every second he wants to punish me or the fact I've actually got to deal with Potter and his cronies again" Severus shouted, the words pouring from his mouth unbidden.

But Dumbledore remained calm and silent, his eyes only giving away the sympathy he held for Severus.

"I'm sorry Severus I promise you we'll do everything I can to find some way to alleviate your pa-"

"No" Severus cut him off

" No ?" Dumbledore asked with a raised eyebrow

"I need this…..it's my penance" Severus left it at that, even though Dumbledore wanted to push the issue he wisely backed away.

"I'm proud of you Severus, you took a great risk in saving James" He said with a smile

"I didn't do it for him and you know that" Severus sneered

"I know who you did it for but that doesn't lessen the deed does it ?"

"Maybe" Severus conceded

Severus felt suddenly stupid at his actions and bowed his head at Dumbledore. Even though he knew that he should hate him for using his emotions of Lily as a tool, he was the only person he could talk to somewhat freely.

_I'm a Slytherin those actions were suitable for some bloody…..Gryffindor_

"There was no other way you know ? I had to get him out and my options were limited at the moment" Severus stated defensively and prematurely.

Dumbledore held up his hands in surrender.

"I know you did everything you could've Severus though I must admit I'm surprised by these turns of events, did you get any information before you left ?"

"No, The Dark Lord hadn't come to a decision on what to do with the children and was still sorting out other birthdays by the time I had left. Other than that I have some information regarding battle plans and movements you might be able to hit before there is a… reorganizing"

Which was of course a code for purges.

Dumbledore nodded to him and smiled once again

"Thank you Severus, The Order will discuss it later, if you would be happy to attend ?" He let it trail off at a question

Severus didn't want to be in the bloody Order, he hated most of the people in it anyways, excluding Lily of course. But there was that nagging guilt that haunted him, he had put Lily in danger in the first place.

Dumbledore seeing his quietness offered something else.

"Of course if you'd like we could send you into hiding it would be the least I could do for your work and risk"

It was a tempting offer, Severus wanted desperately to take it, in fact his whole brain seemed to be shouting at him to do it and get while the getting's good. But then a tiny quiet voice reminded him that is was he who had put her in danger, because of his rash actions she was under the risk of Merlin knows what from Voldemort.

_I can't leave yet, and that's just what Potter and his mutt would expect me to do._

"I'm no coward Dumbledore, I'll stay" He said in an uncharacteristically soft tone.

"I know you aren't Severus but if you want to I can-"

"I said I would do it" Severus interrupted in his regular harshness.

Dumbledore's face brightened considerably.

"Fantastic Severus now-"

Suddenly a woman Flooed into the room from Dumbledore's fireplace, a woman with bright emerald eyes and flame red hair that matched the Floo fire's green intensity.

"Lily" Severus whispered.


	3. Chapter 3

Guess Who's Back ?

Belongs to JKR

She stood before Severus and Dumbledore, her eyes alight with a mix of fear, anger, and surprise. Lily Potter stood staring at both men in the room and while Severus wanted to crawl on the ground before her and beg forgiveness, to simply touch her, he remained impassive and with a slight nod of his head said.

"Mrs. Potter"

_God I would rather swallow gravel than say that again._

"Snape, Albus where's James ?"

"He's down in the Hospice, don't worry Poppy will take good care of him."

Lily said nothing else but left the room with a nod of acknowledgment. Dumbledore looked over at Severus again obviously waiting for him to say something. When he didn't Dumbledore merely smiled and said

"That went rather well I suppose"

Severus was about to thunder on how he knew nothing and that once him and Lily's relationship was the closest thing to love he'd ever had. And now it was reduced to this, however when he thought about it he realized that it couldn't have gone any better than it did right now. In addition he was to weary to put the effort into anger.

"Perhaps" Was all he could muster as he sank back down into the chair.

"Don't worry Severus I'm sure that she'll come around once she sees what you've done for her and James" Dumbledore comforted

"She doesn't care she'll always hate me" Severus said dejectedly

"Severus, you know her better than most people. Do you really believe she is so incapable of forgiveness ?"

"….No"

"Then give her time"

Dumbledore's words gave him hope, however small and he wanted to preserve that without another risk of doubt]

"When is your next Order meeting ?"

"This Tuesday, at 12 o'clock use the fireplace in your safe house it will work if needed to"

"Very well good night Dumbledore"

"Good night Severus"

As Severus walked towards Dumbledore's fireplace he heard him call

"And Severus"

"Yes ?"

"Thank you"

The next three days were spent in a haze of pure pain as Voldemort punished him for his disobedience though he had moments of respite. That allowed him to experiment on a proper pain reliever, he hit on what might've been a good one but for Severus it barely took the edge off.

By the time Tuesday came around he was ready to face the dolts, he put some of his tonic into a flask, put on his best sneer and Flooed to the Department of Mysteries.

The moment he stepped out of the fire place he was met by several wands to the face.

"Good evening I'm Severus Snape, I'm here for a meeting with Albus Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix"

The Aurors took a long look at him before a sandy haired blue eyed man, evidently the leader said

"How do you know about the Order ?"

"I'm working for it" He replied tersely

"I haven't seen you before" He looked ready to cast any wide variety of unpleasant spells Severus's way until another Auror ran up to the group.

"Who is this ?" He asked

"Some bloke who claims to be here for the Order"

The man looked Severus up and down.

"What's his name ?"

"Severus Snape"

The man's eyes widened and he spoke.

"He's telling the truth, show him to the meeting room"

All of the men looked vaguely disappointed they hadn't caught a Death Eater but sighed and cleared the room leaving Severus and the sandy haired man.

"Follow me and don't touch anything"

They walked along quickly through the various corridors and hallways of the department before reaching a hard oak wood door.

"This is the meeting room, I'm Bordan and you need to watch yourself" With that final rush of words he disappeared down a corner leaving Severus alone. With a deep breath he pushed open the door as confidently as he could muster and strode in.

The meeting room was surprisingly large, with two floors and was bathed in a warm healthy yellow light from two fireplaces. In the middle of the room was a large table surrounded by series of chairs and couches, all covered with maps and assorted papers. To the left of the great table and chairs were two curling staircases that went up to the second floor, to the right were two doorways.

However Severus didn't have time to take in all the scenery because it was occupied by the present Order members who when seeing him walk through the door, went dead silent and stared. There were the Longbottom's, and Lupin, Black, Pettigrew, Elphias Doge, Edgar Bones and a few who Severus didn't recognize.

_I don't even get the joy of seeing Lily no doubt with Potter right now_

"Sonuva bitch I didn't think you'd have the guts Snivellus" Black yelled with a sneer

Before Severus could retort Dumbledore's voiced boom from the top of the stairs.

"Severus it's good to see you my boy come in, come in"

Severus walked toward the table and the stares of everyone there. He took a seat in one of the empty chairs while s Dumbledore came to the table to introduce him.

"Severus is here to deliver some of the information he's gathered during his 'tenure' with the Death Eaters"

"How do we know we can trust it ?" Pettigrew piped up

Severus turned his head sharply along with several others at the table including Black.

_Since when did he grow a spine ?_

"Wormtail's got a point Dumbledore how can we-"

"We can trust it" a voice called from the doorway.

Severus looked over to see James Potter striding in arrogantly as ever with Lily fast in tow. Though Severus was surprised to see him out of bed so early after his encounter. Even more surprised that he was defending him. Everybody gave Potter the simultaneous looks of awe, respect, friendship and adoration he had earned over the years working for the Order.

"Prongs you shouldn't be here" Black turned in surprise. "You need rest".

Potter waved it off "I'm not going to waste away in a bed while the rest of you fight"

"You should" Lily said curtly but with love

Her and Potter took a seat at the table and Potter continued on from what he said before.

"We can trust Snape, I vouch for him"

"I don't need you to defend me or vouch for me Potter if they don't want to believe me that's there one problem."

"See ! Why would we trust him when he acts like that ?" Pettigrew pounced

"Are you sure Prongs ?" Black asked warily

"He saved my life that's all there is to it" Potter said firmly

Severus noticed that Lily hadn't said anything to defend him. But was staring at him from across the table.

_I wish that was love not hatred._

"Maybe we should hear what he has to say and why he did it" Lupin said as the voice of reason of the group.

Severus turned in confusion to Dumbledore who merely smile.

_Why didn't he tell them about me ?_

"I agree" Frank Longbottom piped in suddenly "Same" Said his wife Alice.

"What about you Lily ? " Dumbledore broke in

All heads turned to her now.

"I think we should hear what he has to say about why he helped and how he was involved in the first place" Lily said after thirty seconds of deliberation.

With all eyes on Severus he stood up and made his way to the head of the table and peered upon all people there.

_How can I tell them the truth ? Lily will hate me forever, even more so now that she knows I may have put her child's life in danger. But what if we capture any more Death Eaters ? Will they reveal who I was ?. If I confess everything to the Order I risk alienation and hatred but what if they find out later ? Won't it be worse than ?...No I have to tell everything I've done it'll prove to Lily that I've changed. I will leave out why I turned though._

Severus took a deep breath and spoke in surprisingly clear and calm voice.

"My name is Severus Snape, at the age of 18 after graduating from Hogwarts I took the Dark Mark" He rolled up his sleeve to show the dark green tattoo he noticed Potter put his hand on Black's arm to prevent him from shouting his triumph.

"I became an ardent follower from 1978 to 1980 in that time I have killed 2 Aurors and 3 Muggleborns along with 5 Purebloods approximately 6 months ago I came to Hogwarts to spy for the Dark Lord on Dumbledore by applying for the Defense position. While there I overheard a prophecy that stated a child would defeat him, I in loyalty delivered it to the Dark Lord. Not knowing what he might do with the information, however the risk I might be sentencing children to death grew to be too much, even for me. I confessed what I had done to Dumbledore at Hogwarts in hopes of some…. absolution, so he offered me the position of spy for the Order which I have executed faithfully until I was forced to aid Mr. Potter, and now here I stand."

There was a shocked silence

"You're the one who… you told" Sirius stood up his body shaking with rage

"I told you" Pettigrew shouted

"I can't believe you…..my son's life" Alice said as she stood up and left the room, Frank following close behind her.

"Unbelievable" Potter repeated over and over like a chant, his head in his hands.

The worst of them all was Lily who just looked at Severus with eyes of pure betrayal and hurt.

_Maybe this was a bad idea._

* * *

_Where should I take the story from here review and suggest please !  
_


	4. Chapter 4

Oops

Belongs to JKR

"Silence" Dumbledore thundered

The room wisely obeyed him,

"Severus has confessed his mistakes to us in good faith something he could have very well hid from all the people present. It took great courage to reveal those secrets, I would ask all of you to look deep within to find the same courage to accept his confession"

Black looked like he was going to burst.

"Albus ? Accept ? He hasn't even apologized to us for his crimes, he should be in the Wizengamot"

"I didn't know you were a judge Black, they must be getting desperate and I owe you nothing" Severus sneered

"Don't push me Snivellus" Black growled

"Enough both of you" Dumbledore said firmly.

He turned to Severus.

"Severus would you kindly leave the room for a moment, I think it's best if we discuss this without risk of….any more outbursts"

Though Severus deeply resented the idea he was getting sent off like a child he knew that Dumbledore was his best last hope of getting them to accept his actions without being thrown out.

"Of course" He said with as much cordiality as possible.

He went upstairs and the various rooms before finding an empty one with four beds he took a seat and tried to relax, however a jolt of pain from his Dark Mark told him that wasn't in the cards tonight. He rolled up his sleeve and massaged it, even though that had no effect. He wanted to take a swig from his flask but he'd divided his doses up in three hour intervals and he couldn't have one until six thirty.

"I hope it hurts" a voice said hoarsely from the doorway.

Severus looked up to see Alice Longbottom staring at him with angry red rimmed eyes. He thought about telling her off, but considering the facts he'd just revealed about himself thought better of it.

"Don't worry it does" Severus said quietly

He waited for her to leave but instead she stood at the door obviously waiting for him to say something to her.

_She wants an apology ? Too bad I don't owe her one. I only owe Lily one, she was the reason I've done all of this anyways though as of now she probably hates me more than before. But it couldn't hurt to make my case to one of the Order members._

"I didn't know what the Prophecy meant at the time Mrs. Longbottom. I just needed something to give to the Dark Lord"

So my son's life could be at risk right now because you wanted to please your master ?" She spit back harshly

"I didn't even take it seriously, how many prophecies do you hear crouched outside a door ?. I didn't expect him to believe it anymore than I did" Severus shouted.

"What did you expect him to do ?" Alice said with trepidation

"I have no idea, I thought perhaps nothing. Maybe some research into it, I certainly never expected him to take it to heart so easily. And I did not think he would even consider murdering your child"

Alice barked a harsh unladylike laugh.

"Wait ? You want me to believe you actually thought a monster like him would a spare a child ? After what he's done ?"

That gave Severus thought about what he'd been ordered to do and what kind of things he'd done for the sake of his former master. But they were against adults who had a chance of fighting against him not a child.

"I thought we were better than that" Severus muttered

"Better than that ?!" Alice shrieked. "Don't you know what your group does to human beings ? Oh wait of course you do cause you're a murderer as well"

That hit a nerve against Severus. He hadn't joined just for murder and death. He joined because he was a Slytherin and he wanted knowledge and power. But the biggest reason (Though Severus would never admit it to himself) was that he wanted to belong to something that offered him kinship. Something he'd had with Lily, than lost and something he'd never had at home.

"No! We were supposed to be better than that, we were supposed to change to the world." Severus said weakly. Distinctly remembering his reasons for joining and the ideas that Rosier, Mulciber and Avery prodded him with.

"Into this ?" Alice waved her hand around

"No into something better, something worthwhile a place where Wizards would be judged by their skill, not by some corrupt Ministry. A place where people like Potter and his Marauders wouldn't be able to bully with impunity while people like me got swept under the rug"

"Oh spare me your self pity, I remember you fought back against James and Sirius, You were no defenseless victim. I remember you started just as many fights with them as they did with you"

"Oh yes two against one how very fair" Sev said drily

"Ok, let's forget that. What about the Muggleborns, where did they fit into your grand new order ? Where did Lily fit ?"

"I-"

"Or the ones at school ? The ones you, the poor helpless boy, watched get bullied by your friends ?"

"That was different ! They were-"

"They were what ? Muggleborns ?"

"Just-"

But Alice wouldn't give up she pressed on with her tirade, now nose to nose with Severus.

"You were no better than James and Sirius so stop pretending otherwise."

Severus quivered with rage, briefly contemplating pushing the woman away and leaving. But she had gotten under his skin for some reason and now he for some reason felt an undeniable urge to defend himself.

_I'm nothing like Potter and Black, I never tried to kill one of them though I contemplated it. And those kids I bullied…..Well they were just…Mudbloods ?. Merlin I never really believed any of the stuff they said about Muggleborns well maybe one or two things I just… played along._

When he said nothing Alice smiled nastily

"Exactly" And turned to leave, however before she left Severus called out.

"Wait, You are right" Those words stopped Alice for a moment she turned back to look at him.

"I..I never liked Muggles or Muggleborns for….personal reasons but hate them ? No. I never hated them I just tried to fit in with my house like everybody does. The people I killed, the ones I told you about I didn't kill them because they were Muggleborns, I killed them because for the new order, not that that's better. By the time I joined, my housemates had fanned my dislike of Muggleborns into a hatred and….."

"And what ?" Questioned Alice who didn't have so much of an angry look.

" I don't know, I thought maybe that the price of a new world order was worth the death of a few…Mudbloods. But….."

"But what ?" Alice pressed on impatiently.

"Things changed" Severus said vaguely

"What kind of things ?"

"I saw that some men in my organization were far worse than any Muggleborn"

Alice looked as if she wanted to press the issue but saw something on Severus's face that made her hesitate.

Indeed Severus had seen more atrocities committed by his fellow Death Eaters than any one man should. Ironically because many of these crimes were committed against Muggleborns. Severus felt pity for them in fact it was after seeing a woman under Crucio for three hours straight that Severus began to wonder if he really belonged. He had originally planned on leaving and hiding in Spain or maybe Africa but Voldemort gave him one last job to do which led to him spying on Dumbledore and eventually the situation he was in now.

"So you already had doubts before you delivered the Prophecy ?" She asked

"Yes"

"Were you planning on coming to Dumbledore ?"

_No_

"Yes"

Alice looked around the room and then back at Severus as if trying to decipher something. He sighed and said.

"Mrs. Longbottom I am truly sorry for delivering that prophecy and not a day goes by that I don't regret it"

_Though not for her. For Lily, only for Lily._

"And if it's any consolation if I'm not killed by my old colleagues or by your present ones I'll get a railway trial through the Wizengamot and a Dementor's Kiss"

After he finished something seemed to flicker behind Alice's eyes before she said.

"They won't kill you they're good men"

Severus resisted the urge to roll his eyes or snort.

"Hmpf" Was all he could muster

She stared at him again, this time directly into his eyes, he noticed hers were a pretty hazel color.  
"You're a….trying man" She said but with weariness, this time actually walking out the door.

Severus sat there for a while attempting to digest the conversation he just had with Alice.

_Either I've made an ally or a hated enemy _

Eventually a cough broke him out of his funk. He turned to see Lily staring at him from the doorway. Neither of them said anything for a moment before Severus broke the silence with.

"Mrs. Potter" He said with as much dignified neutrality as he could muster.

"Severus" She glared back at him

"How long have you been listening ?" He queried tonlessly

"Long enough"

"Shouldn't you be downstairs ?" He tried changing the subject

"Shouldn't you ?" She challenged back

"I don't think I'd be welcome as you are" Severus muttered darkly which sent the conversation into a slight silence.

"Why'd you do it ?" Lily burst out.

"Do what Mrs. Potter ?" He asked respectfully

"Save James."

"Do we really have the time for this ?" Severus asked

"If what we had ever meant anything to you, the least you can give me is a few answers" Lily said in a barely controlled voice

"I always pay my debts"

"What ?" Lily said with confusion

"You asked me why I did it. I always pay my debts" Severus lied partly

"You did it for the life debt" She said disbelievingly

"Yes"

"That's all ?"

"No."

"Why else ? "

Severus paused for a moment again. Wondering how he could phrase this.

"I did it for you Mrs. Potter, for what we had"

The hardness in Lily's eyes seemed to dissipate,

"It's Lily you git" She said with a sigh.

"Of course Lily" Severus kept a straight face but inside he was jumping for joy.

"Thank you for helping him, he won't admit it, but he's grateful" Lily said quietly

Severus chose not to respond as she continued.

"But what you did with Voldemort, the Prophecy-" Severus winced at the mention of both, but mostly due to his Dark Mark. Lily evidently noticed.

"Severus ? What's wrong ?"

"It's nothing Lily. Please continue."

"It's your Dark Mark isn't it ?" She said knowingly

"Yes" He managed to choke out as another wave of pain hit him over again. He fumbled for his flask and managed to take a swig before he blacked out.

Lily's green eyes reflected her twin feelings of revulsion and pity that was felt for Severus. Something he was used to on both counts, from her and from others.

"I'm sorry" She looked like she meant it

"Don't be. I made my choices Lily."

"Severus I…..I want to say I'm grateful for what you did for James and for turning but some of your other actions I'm…..I'm not so sure I could forgive that"

The words cut him more deeply than he would ever want to or care to admit.

"I understand Lily. And I want you to know how truly sorry I am for doing this to you, if I could take it back I would."

Lily nodded her head and put her hand on his Dark Mark. And for a split second Severus could've sworn the pain went away.

"I know you would Severus, and I never said I wouldn't forgive you. I just can't do it yet" She looked back toward the door and the main hall where the arguing went on. "I'll try to put in a good word for you"

And with that she departed leaving Severus with his pain and hope. Something that seemed to be trend when it came to Lily.


	5. Chapter 5

A New Job.

Belongs to JKR.

Severus Snape had been awaiting in the Order's rooms for what seemed like a lifetime before Albus Dumbledore approached him at the doorway with a warm smile.

"Well Severus I have to say you surely surprised the Order today, including me"

"I suppose this means that I'm going to be tossed to the wolves." Severus said darkly

Dumbledore looked at him surprisingly shocked.

"No my boy, nothing like that it took some convincing from me, and, thankfully Lily and Alice but you'll stay on as a member of the Order."

Severus was at a momentary loss for words. He hadn't expected anything other than a swift kick out the door.

"That is, unexpected Headmaster" He said neutrally

Dumbledore laughed.

"Don't worry about being relieved around me Severus. It's more than alright." He stood back and waved toward the main hall. "Go on in, it's time to become acquainted with your future teammates"

Severus saw his logic. Though he didn't really appreciate the effort he might have to put into it.

"Very well better to get this over with now I suppose." He said with a sigh and proceeded to make his way down the stairs.

He arrived with Dumbledore in tow to an entire room of people staring at him with either three emotions. Hatred, confusion, or surprise. At least, however Lily wasn't looking at him with hatred. As he walked to the table and took a seat near the Longbottom's, Dumbledore spoke.

"Well now that's settled we can move onto Severus's intelligence." He turned to Severus. "If you will ?"

Severus stood up and made his way towards the head of the table. Composing himself again, he spoke of troop movements that may or may not happen. Safe houses that might be able to get knocked over and various weaknesses in shields cast over Death Eater territory.

"What about….us" Alice spoke after a while gesturing to Lily and herself.

Severus hesitated for a second before speaking.

"That I cannot say, though I did notice he was no longer speaking of you in terms of someone who would stay in the land of the living"

"So he was planning on killing us ?" James asked

"No, maybe he never gave any indication either way but I believe for the safety of the parties here that you should go under the Fidelius Charm"

The room went silent for a moment before Dumbledore spoke again.

"A wise suggestion Severus I had been thinking the same thing as well of course the families present would have to agree"

Lily and Alice both promptly shook there heads along with Frank who did it more hesitantly. Everyone one then turned to Potter who sputtered "But I can't go into, I mean I can't just hide-" He cut off as he looked at Lily then sighed "All right I guess we should"

_Hmmm Potter deciding to share the glory ? Whatever is the world coming to ?_

"Excellent now I already have a few areas in mind for the both of you, though we'll need to make arrangements later on." Dumbledore smiled and clapped his hands. "now you're all dismissed. Minus, you two" Pointing at the Potter's and Longbottom's. "we'll discuss a strike plan tomorrow"

As Severus prepared to leave the room Dumbledore called him back.

"I need you here as well Severus"

_Haven't I had enough Potter in my diet for the day._

"Alice, Frank. If you'll follow me I'll discuss where you'll stay and the arrangements"

After the couple departed with Dumbledore it left a very awkward and uncomfortable trio in the main room. Severus, while sitting there after about ten minutes decided that he'd share a bit of information he'd been saving for Dumbledore on his own.

"You two need to be careful." He started off with

"Gee you think ?" Potter said drily which drew a slight smile and a playful bop on the head from Lily.

"Leave being sarcastic to the professionals Potter" Severus said with practiced dryness.

This provoked an outright laugh from Lily and a twitch on Potter's left corner of his mouth.

"I had information that I'd planned to share with Dumbledore before I'd found you Potter but I was sidetracked." Severus turned to look before gathering them closer.

"You have been infiltrated." He said in a voice barely above a whisper.

"What ?" Lily gasped.

"By whom ?" Potter finished for her with sickening synchrony.

"I don't know, but it's someone close to you Potter. Whoever they are is relatively low on Voldemort's list of important spies otherwise I wouldn't have heard but he's a danger. No matter what."

"I don't understand nobody James is close to would want to betray him" Lily said in confusion

"Human nature is a dark thing Lily. But my money's on Lupin, keep your eye on him alright ?"

"Remus wouldn't-" Lily started

"He has a point" James interrupted wearily

"James ? He's your friend, he-"

"I know what he is to me Lily. But think on what Snape is saying. Werewolves have the most to gain from this war. If Voldemort win's there will be no discrimination against them, or at least less then what we do." As James spoke Severus noticed how old his eyes looked. Almost haunted. The playful grin and constant hair ruffling that he'd done in school seemed to come only once and a while. And from what Severus had seen today it was only around Lily.

_I can't believe we have that in common Potter._

"James I, he wouldn't. I mean he couldn't" She cut off at his meaningful look and buried her head in his shoulder. "James what are we going to do."

Seeing Lily in pain like this tore Severus apart on the inside. He'd sworn that the incident by the lake was the last time he'd ever do something like that again.

"Lily" Severus tried to comfort "we don't know for sure alright ? I could be wrong it could be somebody outside Potter's little group or maybe he's dead. Whatever happens I won't let anybody hurt you."

Lily looked up at Severus for a moment before smiling slightly.

James opened his mouth up to say something before being interrupted by Dumbledore. Who had just escorted the Longbottom's out.

"Lily James, Severus I have something to discuss with you all"


End file.
